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Emelia and Ileana I Edit

Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:56, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

She looked around the room. It seemed strange, that it was just the same when everything else had changed.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 18:02, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

"Feeling it too, huh?" Emelia mused, looking at her bed a little ruefully.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 18:03, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

She nodded with a sigh.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 18:05, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

"I guess it was always a stack of dominoes. If one falls, the rest will fall after." Emelia rests her head on the wall, looking at a picture of all six of them and Anara with a sad smile.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 18:10, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

She nodded, then turned away. "What did Luca tell you?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 18:30, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

"He told me he was going, that he wasn't coming back before eighteen, was going with other people who got expelled, that he was pro-Rasskazov, that he accepted my apology and that he forgave me, and that he'd miss me, and to tell Val he was sorry. I'm not sure she even knows."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:51, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

Her eyes widen. "He didn't tell her?" Ileana facepalmed. "Fuck! Fuck!" Her words were slightly muffed by her hands. "I talked to slash at Zverev — Professor Zverev, Zinoviy, Val's brother — last year, and I told him Luca would never hurt Val and so he shouldn't worry. Why do I keep trusting you guys so much? I really shouldn't!"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 18:08, August 4, 2014 (UTC)

"Well, you had to trust your brother, right? He might have made a couple wrong decisions - like I did - but haven't we all, really? Wrong decisions doesn't mean we can't make right ones, and doesn't necessarily impact on trust at first."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:33, August 5, 2014 (UTC)

"This isn't about Luca, this is about Val! I didn't ask Luca if he'd told her, it never even crossed my mind that he wouldn't. I assumed he'd written, or that they'd met up, or were going to, or something."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 17:51, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

"Anyone would, though, Ileana." She sighed. "Anyone would think people would tell their girlfriend where they were going, it's expected." She seemed more at ease now that she wasn't alone.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:54, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

She nodded sadly. "Have you told her yet?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 18:06, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

"I think I'll tell Apol. Maybe Lera will take it better from her than from me." She replied, idly taking out her set of darts and throwing them at the board - it was the closest to knives she had. She looked suddenly tense, as if remembering something. It appeared to be a pattern. Tense, relax, tense, relax.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 18:23, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

She shook her head. "You need tell her directly. I'll come with you if you want? But she can't hear it through the grapevine. The whole problem here is that Luca didn't tell her himself, and so we've got to do better than that and tell her."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 19:43, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

"No! I can't! I've done enough things to screw things up, and I can't deal with being the one to break her heart by telling her! No matter what I do somebody gets hurt, something goes wrong!" She shakes her head. "If I do any more, I'm going to go insane!"


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 20:09, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

Ileana sighed. "Calm down. I can do the talking if you want. But we're not going to have someone else tell her like Luca did."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 20:17, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

She shakes her head. "What I want to know is why I rely on you guys this way...why?" She sighs. "But I'm afraid I know why. The monophobia - yes, I'm monophobic - gets me every time. But then when I do something about it, somebody gets hurt. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. These past years have been everything I am...but now everything's flipped on its head, everything's changed...I guess I'm nothing at all. Part of me still wants to rebel, but the other parts are too scared of the consequences of it. And it's driving me mad, this yin-yang stuff. If I don't throw myself over the edge..." she pauses. "This will probably do it for me."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 20:21, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

"Stop using big words like monophobia to confuse me, and stop focusing on yourself! This is about Val, how many times do I need to remind you. We've all got shit in our lives. We're all afraid of stuff. Big deal! Stop being so self-centered and think about what it'd be like for you if Cristi left you and no one would tell you because it would make them feel bad."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 20:30, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

"Monophobia. Mono is one. Fear of being by oneself, or alone in better terms." she translated. "I can't deal with any more in my head right now, not with everything else, though. I just think she'd take it better from her best friend, she doesn't need anyone who might remind her of Luca in the slightest manner. And if Cristi had left me. I think I might have figured it out, Ileana."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 03:57, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

Ileana grabbed Emelia by the shoulders and shook her. "S-a întâmplat, s-a întâmplat! It happened! Let it go!"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 10:23, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

She shook her head. "It's not that simple, Ileana."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 13:46, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

"You can complain and feel awful as much as you want, but it's not going to accomplish anything."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 21:59, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

"When you've been through quite as much crap as me - including the crap you don't know about - maybe you'll understand the feeling awful."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 14:45, August 11, 2014 (UTC)

"Everyone has crap they don't tell others about. This is EESM, do you not understand that? No one's going to throw you a pity party. You've got to hide your shit as best you can so they don't think you're weak, and keep going. So screw you Emelia Dalca. You're not my friend, and so I don't have to listen to you complain this year." She went to their bookshelf, pulled out their battered, shared copy of The Hunger Games, and riffled though it, looking for the scene, about 1 day into the Games, from which she remembered the quote 'Pity does not get you aid. Admiration at your refusal to give in does.' When she found it, she she shoved the book roughly into Emelia's hands, then left and went to go find Val's room.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 19:30, August 12, 2014 (UTC)

Emelia read the quote, and shook her head. "But your brain has a breaking point," she whispered to herself. "So eventually, you have to let it all out. Or you'll go insane. You have to let it out before that continues to progress, Emelia...and if that loses you friends...then at least you won't be alone in it." It was a lame way of comforting herself. She put the book carefully back on the shelf, then proceeded to sit in the corner and shake violently, realising that she was alone again.


Emelia and Ileana IIEdit

EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 22:16, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She would have left a small, leather-bound book on the bed.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 22:19, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Ileana took of her shoes, flopped on her own bed, and started working on her spell list.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 22:25, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She would walk in wordlessly, pick the book up off her bed and read it through herself with a sigh. One last time before she would lock the book away somewhere. Wait. Somewhere she would never find it. She paced, contemplating where she could put it.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 22:27, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She sat up as soon as she head Emelia come in. "Hey Emelia, what do you know about different breeds of owls?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 22:43, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She put the book on her bed again - looking at it for a moment too long before turning back. "There's snowy, barn, pygmy...I'm really not an expert on owls, sorry." She smiled apologetically. "Hey...Ileana, can I ask you something?"


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 22:45, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She set her list aside. "Yeah, sure."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 22:47, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"When you want to forget something - what do you do?" She asked.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 22:52, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"Usually look for alcohol. Why? I've still got my emergency butterbeer if you want it, but it's not very strong."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 22:56, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She held up the book. "I want to forget everything in here."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:00, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"Are those class notes? We just had summer, this is a bit early for education despair."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:03, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"No. Anything but." she replied. "Anything but class notes. I wish they were, though."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:04, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Her expression became more serious, her eyes focused, and her tone of voice softened. "How about you read it to me, and if you can't read anymore I'll read the rest myself?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:13, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She nodded, took a deep breath, and began. "I would never usually rely on something like a diary to put things in, but now, as my life explodes with emotions like a bomb went off in my head, I have little choice if I want to keep it hidden. Because revealing my heartache hasn't done me many favours at all...maybe putting it in an inanimate object may help me. I don't see how one mistake could have separated us like this - I've tried 'sorry', I've shed bitter tears, I've tried explaining... I want to try. I want to do that too, so I can get on with my life, but I can't despise them.

I'm unsure where to turn...Laena and Aaron don't seem to hate me, and I had a normal conversation with Lera the other day, so maybe she doesn't blame me. Alfred doesn't, either, though I don't know how that helps. I could consider them friends, I guess. But losing Cristi was the most hurtful of them all, the things he said cut me like one of my own knives. I never cry...but it made my strongholds break, and now I can't stop.

Don't you get it? None of us want you in our lives. At all. So go. He said, and I snapped - I couldn't control myself, at all. I was kind of...fighting it, I guess. But whether he understood that I will never know, considering he wants nothing to do with me. For a while, I thought somebody needed me. But we fell apart like this. We were so sure of our future - one obstacle and everyone falls.

My whole life sings Jason Walker and Trading Yesterday, and I find myself hung up on those songs that seem to understand me, because then it seems that something does. I just need someone to need me. That's selfish, I know..but.." She paused...looking at the book quietly and in silence. Almost ashamed of herself.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:19, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

She listened carefully, waiting for the information behind the drama. "Cristi's mad at you?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:24, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"He was mad at me," she replied. "What I'm more scared of is how easily it could happen again. If I'm that unstable, I'm just dangerous. And if I do one more wrong thing...I'm scared he'll get mad again..." She took a deep breath and continued, turning the page. "It was too good to be true...I knew it, and yet I clung to the hope of it being reality. I am stupid...I am dumb...I am nothing, and that is the truth of it. I can't do anything right.

For most young people, being alone is difficult and a cause for boredom, which in turn is a difficulty that most find practically insurmountable and intolerable. It's generally not a nice thing, unless being alone is your intention - but being alone is never my intention. I am only alone when people walk out on me and lock the doors and windows, and even then I will pound desperately upon them, needing to get out and see somebody - even if they're my enemy. Sometimes, when I am alone, I would be glad of the presence of Rasskazov. That is because of monophobia.

Monophobia is "the fear of being alone." So, whilst being alone is hard for most, for me it is just a terrifying prospect. It is the worst of scenarios, being locked in a dark room, alone. Never mind the dark part, if it was lighter I would know there was nobody else there. At least if it was dark, I could pretend. The darkness is a good companion, those who are afraid of it overlook its great companionship or its friendship when it wraps around you. And I let it in to my life, to mask me, to hide my history. There is darkness within me, too, where nobody can see it until I let it out. That is when I snap.

So, when my other, more favourable companions, the Aces, walked out on me and locked the doors and windows, I was alone, and I could see that I was alone, because it was not dark. I went home to Romania for awhile, and even then I was alone because my mother and father were in Montenegro for some reason. So...the monophobia took hold, and it was horrifying for me. I was already crazy and I knew it, the Aces and I joked about how I belonged in an asylum...but what began to happen still horrified me.

It was as if someone had begun to choke me - I couldn't breathe - even after the original bout had passed I was hyperventilating. I heard voices murmuring "Congratulations," in sarcastic voices, ones I was sure I knew. I was reaching out to those voices, because they were human, almost unaware that they were only in my head, that they were not real. I was willing them to be real, so that in some way I was not alone. If they saw me now, they would know that I am not as strong as I like to make believe that I am, the facade that I put up.

There was a reason for that facade - so that nobody really knows me. I don't want anyone to know me, not this side of me. They would laugh, and taunt, and they would pretend to befriend me...but in the end I would wind up alone. In the end it would always be my monophobia and I, with my shadow as my only friend. But if they don't know me...maybe they won't know how much it wounds me. How much it hurts me. How much it feels like they stab me every time they turned me away. And I don't want them to know that.

If they knew that, I would be different, not the person they befriended. So I hide, trying to distract myself. In the end, it is always my monophobia and I. And so...I let it in. I don't let anybody see how much it hurts. How when they're gone, it makes me nothing. I hide from them and their curiosities, keeping myself veiled in shadows. And so, I let the darkness in again...and the vicious cycle rolls on."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:29, August 13, 2014 (UTC)~

She wanted to ask about what had happened with Cristi, but felt that for the time being she should stay quiet and let her keep talking.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:34, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

"I can’t bottle it up anymore…it’s just too much. My past bears down on me like a weight I need to lift. And the present is just adding more and more weight…and eventually my strength will fail and I’ll no longer be able to lift the weight. Who knows what will happen when that happens?

I do. I’ll explode…like a grenade, and destroy everything in my path. Anyone who ever cared about me caught in an exploding fireball of grief and pain…and I don’t want that. I might have magic…a wand…but there’s nothing to contain my feelings. I’m too explosive to be contained.

Nobody understands. They just shunt me aside as selfish. Nobody gets. And I’m starting to think nobody ever will.

So...before the pain consumes me, I'm going to write it down. I don't know if anyone but me will ever see it. I'm scared of showing weakness. But...there is good reason for my monophobia that nobody knows about. The crap that nobody knows about. That nobody knows about except me...the burdens I've had to carry alone for years. But the backpack is too heavy for me now, so I have to put it down somewhere, even if it might be found.

My parents were teen parents. But they couldn't keep me at EESM because Rasskazov (that asshole) wouldn't let them. That's why I hate Rasskazov so much...but nobody knows that's the underlying reason. That one decision put me through seven years of hell...and those seven years of hell are part of what drives me insane, made me as dark as I am.

I was left on the doorstep of a snowy Romanian orphanage in a blanket. It was cold and wet, and I did not like it - so I cried, and cried. In those moments before they turned and left, I am sure it almost seemed that, if it weren't for Rasskazov, they could have parented me - but he sent me to an unknown place...away from my parents...where all sorts of horrors happened to me.

The first year or so was fine, but I would fall asleep to the sickening crescendo of crying children, harsh staff voices and slaps that cracked the silence. But I could never see them. They locked me up for having wizarding blood...we were all isolated from one another, and in seven years I never saw another child. We were served our meals in our little box-rooms, and even they were meagre.

I got caught trying to escape out of a window - I lost count of how many times the belt hit and how the sound of some of the other children laughing floated through the walls, and the Romanian screams of the ladies watching me still haunt me. That was a common occurrence. Trying to escape.

I remember a kid died once, they snapped their neck falling out of the first story window. They almost made it, and they'd have been the first. I remember sneaking a peek out of mine and seeing the body, and that enters my dreams every so often too. We didn't hold a funeral because we weren't allowed out.

I still have scars in some places, from trying to escape from that place. My liberty came with the most terrifying memory. I'd stolen a knife from the kitchen - I was seven, and I wanted to scare somebody into letting me out. I was going mad of the not seeing anybody...but when they came in, I actually hit my target without meaning to - I'd been aiming for the wall but it hit the nurse instead. They sent me back to my parents...they were all scared of me.

The second time I was alone, for any length of time, Rasskazov isolated me. I almost died in there. I'd almost killed Rasskazov, actually, it was about an inch, and I would have bled to death from a wound - I think I threw myself to the floor purposefully - to knock myself out so I'd either sleep or die because I was fatigued - I was monophobiac by then and I needed to get out of my fearzone. Cristi found me passed out on the floor, lying in what he called a 'scary pool of blood.'

The third time, I snapped and almost killed Cristi. I don't know what I did there at all because I don't remember it, but according to him and Laena I went all sarcastic and deadly on him, I was blaming him for everything...it was awful. So every time I've been alone extensively...something's happened. I'm always scared I'll hurt somebody else.

What is it with me, damnit? Why can't I just live normally? Maybe I could have a memory charm and start anew, but that would mean leaving the Aces behind - and I just couldn't do it. Even if they've said 'screw you' and stuff to me, decided not to care in others' cases...I still do.

I can't let go of everything we've done. I just hope writing it helps me, because otherwise, I'll go over the edge. Maybe...maybe things will get better. Maybe."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:49, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Tears started welling up in Ileana's eyes. "Why did you never tell me? In second year, when I told you about how our mother left Luca and me, why didn't you tell? Tell the whole truth, I mean."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 21:27, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

"I didn't want anyone to know what a messed up asshole I was..."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 03:03, August 15, 2014 (UTC)

Ileana giggled a little, through the tears that were falling faster by the second. "Oh Emelia. We always knew that you were a messed up asshole."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 16:20, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"I'm glad you know that, because it's truer than true. I'm not sure whether, even if I could have kids, I would. They don't need a messed up asshole mother."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 16:26, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

Her face paled. "You're pregnant? That's what this is about?" Ileana glanced around the room, which seemed way too small at the moment. "It's ok, it's ok, whatever you decide to do I'll help you do it. If you want to keep it I won't let Rasskazov make you get rid of it, and if you want to get rid of it no one will have to know."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 16:31, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"No!" Emelia bit back her laugh. "That's impossible - I'm infertile, and I can't get a fertility treatment until I'm sixteen. What I meant was, in the future."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 16:34, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

She stared at Emelia. "You're infertile?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 17:01, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"For now, anyway. I only just found out about it, actually, from the hospital I went to in Romania - it was a muggle one. The staffing was horrible, never going there again - I wouldn't have if my mother hadn't made me."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:09, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"What happened?" she asked cautiously.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 17:18, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"They had me on neurocleptics for a while, they think that's why."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:23, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"You're ok though?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 17:28, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"Yeah, haven't been on them for ages. I'm fine, now. What about you?"


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 17:44, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

"As far as I know, I've never taken neuroleptics and I'm not infertile," she teased, then sighed a little. "I'm ok. I want to get an owl, so I'm trying to figure out what breed to get. Snowy owls are found all the way north, so I don't have to worry about weather anywhere. Eagle-owls go most of the way north, so I think as long as they're only in the tundra for a little while they'd be ok, and they're faster."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:49, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

Emelia nods, in thought. "Eagle-owls should be fine," she says. "I guess it depends how far you want to go."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:52, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

She looked down a bit. "I want to be able to write to Luca."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 23:56, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

Emelia placed her hand on Ileana's left shoulder. "Don't look down, Ileana - it's nothing to be ashamed of that you want to write to him. But...there's something I don't get."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 23:59, August 20, 2014 (UTC)

She swallowed hard, then met Emelia's gaze. "What?" Her mind started racing, trying to guess the question.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 00:08, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"I didn't even blow up the office, nor was it my idea.  That was Aaron. Why did he expel Luca for my actions, when Aaron got off with nothing? It might just be me being paranoid, or was that intentional, to get us to split and not cause him chaos?


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 00:17, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She shrugged with a sad smile. "Because for Aaron it's more for a one-off? I mean, we all know — and I assume Rasskazov does too — that Aaron does firework and drugs. But from him it's usually victimless crimes. You explode a train, then an office. This is the first time Aaron has exploded school property. And even though it wasn't you working alone either time, both did include you, you're the thing they had in common. And anyways, exactly how much did Rasskazov know about who's idea it was?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 00:25, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess." She replied. "But, when I saw your brother last in the village - I made him a promise. That I'd be here for you. I don't intend to break that promise to him. What I'm going to do is something symbolic - I'm just going to offer the hand of friendship again - it's your choice if you take it or not." Summoning up the courage to meet Ileana's eyes, a small smile on her face, she offered her hand.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 00:30, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She gave Emelia a small smile, then lay down — her feet still handing off the edge — and looked up at the ceiling. "When did everything get so damn complicated.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 00:40, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

The disappointment glimmered in her eyes with the smile appearing almost regretful for an instant, but then it was gone. "I don't know when, Ileana. It's always been complicated, I guess. We just never realised how so." Maybe Ileana just wasn't ready? She wasn't going to push it, anyhow. A determined look crossed her face for a minute. "I'm not going to let this damned book mess with me anymore." Emelia would get up, cross temporarily to the hallway and throw it in the fireplace, before coming back in. "I've gotta give everything another go," she says, lying down on the bed. "Sure, it was fun while it lasted, but maybe I could give blending in a shot."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 00:45, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She grinned when Emelia burned the book. "You go Emelia!" Ileana squeezed her hand.
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 00:53, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"Now that was satisfying." She announced. "I was stupid. I thought that because we weren't the Aces anymore, we couldn't be friends - that's stupid, and that doesn't need to stop us...does it?" Emelia bites her lip and looks at the floor.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 00:58, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She laughed, although her eyes were tearing up a tiny bit. "I'm not the Ace of Hearts anymore. But you and me, we're more that just 'those girls in the Aces.' And trying not being friends with you was a total fail."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 01:03, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"I'm not the Ace of Spades either, anymore. I don't need to be." She laughed. "We can rock it cliqueless, you and me. It's a bumpy road, but we've got each other." She hugs Ileana, tearing up as well.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 01:09, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She squeezed Emelia tightly, and blinked fast. "I feel kind of empty and free now. Like there's a weight off my chest, but also like there's this space inside me filled with nothing now." She laughed, her vision bluing a little. "I feel ok. I feel ok."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 01:14, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"I get how you feel," she says, as they hug. "It's a bizarre feeling."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 01:20, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

She peeled off her socks and sat cross-legged on the bed. "So what are you going to do now?"
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 01:25, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"Try and not flunk every single O.W.L., I guess," she says.


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 01:31, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"Yeah, me too. I want to try treating EESM like a school for a bit and see what the results are. The place we — Tată and I — live now, we moved there when I was 12. Before that, Tată lived in this little apartment on the other side of Sighișoara. It was one bedroom, and Luca and I always slept in the living room when we visited. Tată moved to our current house and Bunicuţă and Bunicuţ died and we came to live with him, so that we wouldn't have to sleep in the living room every night. It's more than he can really afford, and we're only there in the summer. I don't blame Luca for not wanted to get a job, but I don't blame Tată for wanting him to get one either. I want more than that. I don't want to end up like that, working 3 jobs and barely being able to pay rent. And that's what Mamă's life was like too, we were always moving so she could find a job. And Bunicuţă and Bunicuţ, it was never that bad. They had it much better, but even their life savings wasn't much things were always stretched a little thin. I love them, and it's not that I look down on it or something, but I want better than that for my own life."
EmeliaWBGif

Emelia - fifth year vorobyov • rocking it cliqueless
-"The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past."

 – 01:38, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"I think the dream for me is to teach Muggle Combat here - it's probably the only thing I could teach - but then the other half of me is going 'Emelia, don't be so stupid, Rasskazov'd never employ you."


Ileana-Radu-5

Ileana Radu
-Fifth Year • Boyanova

 – 01:43, August 21, 2014 (UTC)

"He might. There's got to be some reason he hasn't expelled you by now."

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